Chapter 3

Merle led the duo from the train station to the parking lot. He had a rental car that would take them to the launch site.

"Shotgun!" called Errol as he bounded to the back of the car, ready to unload his gear.

"You know, I can't believe you made us walk to get icecream. We should have dumped our luggage off somewhere," said Errol.

"Whine, whine, it's not unlike our gigs. We just have a few extra bags!" said Debs.

"A few extra bags to hold us off for 6 months! That's heavy!"

"I have the heavy stuff! You have 6 pairs of pants for the 6 months!"

"Well, I have four pairs of pants. I'm hoping we are allowed to do laundry. And a fancy pair that I may take out, once in a while. I sure hope not. But these places tend to have fancy dinners."

Merle popped the back trunk for them and Errol dumped his stuff unceremoniously with a large grunt. Debs threw her stuff in too. Merle had offered to take Debs bags, but she let off a squelch that she wasn't an invalid and Merle backed off.

"We should visit a cantina!" piped up Debs as she climbed into the back seat of Merle's car.

"That wouldn't be wise," said Merle.

"Debs, the bars here are not movie bars. If a place has a shady reputation, there's a reason for it!"

"You are a chicken. I want to see a pilot! I should be a pilot!"

"You need to focus on one thing at a time! For example, you need a new guitar! Hopefully, after this gig, we can afford one with a better pickup," said Errol.

"Ya, I need a new guitar," she said as she looked outside. She had an old guitar that she had borrowed from a friend ten years ago, and it was difficult to play, and she had never changed the strings on it. The pickup was loose and if she was not careful, would get stuck in the body of guitar if the bolt came off. There were many gigs where the guitar failed to be amplified because of the faulty pickup.

"Maybe after I get the guitar, I can take flight lesson!" said Debs.

"You want a new computer! Your laptop has a broken monitor, remember?"

Debs sighed again. Errol was right. People sometimes thought he was the crazy one, but he was dogged in focusing in on one thing at a time. Sometimes it drove Debs crazy, but other times, it helped them get things done. Unless of course he was deliberately trying to derail them, which happened more often than not.

"How long have you been with this cruise line, Merle?" Errol asked.

"Well, I'm not with only one line. I usually take the show to different cruises at a time. I run a number of entertainment acts, sometimes on multiple ships and companies. I currently have six acts on six other ships right now. I was going to take the month off, but then this offer came in about a few weeks ago. I didn't have any other acts, but someone had given me a link to your website and I thought you would be perfect! See, the orion express normally has a number of shows lined up, and only needs one or two extra acts to fill in. I usually try to run the whole show for the ship, that gives me more control of things. However, this way, I can actually check out the Orion Express, check your act out, and probably not really have to worry about managing you two. You don't seem to be the type to be high maintenance," said Merle.

"I don't know about Debs, but I'm sure not. I just want food an internet," said Errol.

"Well, we can't give you free internet, but the ship does offer reduced rates for employees," said Merle.

"Good enough for me. I still need to update the comics. I hope I can get the majority of it done and then I can upload them from the ship," commented Errol.

"Are we going to be on a stage? Or how does it work?" asked Debs.

"Have you ever been on a cruise line before?" asked Merle.

"I've been, but I doubt Debs has," said Errol.

"Each room has a theme or a purpose, and most of the time, each activity or event sticks to the same room. Considering there are a lot of elderly people that frequent cruise ships, a lot of the rooms are themed on old music, or old shows. You play a lot of old songs, it seems-"

"That's because Errol's old," Debs interjected.

"Ancient," said Errol.

"And so we've put you in a small bar that emulates the early twenty first century. A cute little duet duo would be perfect for that. I even brought a song list with accompanying chords and audio if you want to learn more," said Merle.

"Yes, I love expanding my normal repetoire. That just means Debs can book us more gigs," Errol said. Debs tried to shoot him a look, but he was in the front seat. Her attention was quickly averted to the launch site that was coming into view. She could see the shuttle that was going to take them there. It didn't look that large in the pictures she had seen, but in real life, it was huge.

"How long is the shuttle trip?" asked Debs.

"Not that long actually, you'll be surprised how quick it is," said Merle.

"Don't we have to undergo any training? G-forces and all?" asked Debs.

"No, you'll be fine. There are a number of technologies now that help with that," said Merle.

"I'll probably stil be sick," mumbled Errol.

"Errol gets motion sickness really easy," said Debs.

"The shuttle will probably be quite a ride for you, however the cruise line itself will be a breeze. It's not like being on an ocean liner," explained Merle.

Merle drove the rental car to a small lot and parked.

"We can get out here," he said as he got out of the car. He opened the trunk and began unloaded the luggage onto some carts. Errol and Debs pitched in to help.

"Now, I need to take the car back, but if you just follow those lines to that door, you will be fine. Wait for me at Gate B. There are only two gates, which is strange since there is only one shuttle, but we're at Gate B. I'll see you two soon!" said Merle as got back in the car and drove away.

"We're going to die. What if we die? What if the shuttle explodes? I still want to have babies!" said Debs.

"I just want to get rid of this virgin label," said Errol.

"Death would be a mercy for you, Errol," said Debs.

"Thanks, Debs. Not everyone can be as popular with the opposite sex," said Errol.

"I don't want to die, Errol!" complained Debs again.

"Look, you don't seem to worry about airplane flights!"

"That's because we're still near our own planet! If we die in space, that's it!"

"Actually, my biggest fear is having a huge hole ripped in then we all get sucked out and asphyxiated or something. And then my eyes explode. I don't want to have my eyes explode," said Errol.

"Your eyes don't explode," said Debs.

"At least our blood won't boil. I thought I read that was an urban myth. You know, with the amount of space travel that goes on, you would think they would document the full horrors of what can happen to you when you don't have a space suit," said Errol.

"This is not helping," said Debs.

"You're telling me. Now I don't want to go either," said Errol.


"Well this is awkward," Errol said, craining his head around to see Debs, who was strapped in beside him. The straps came down from the shoulders and criss-crossed across his chest. The shuttle attendant had tightened them, perhaps a little too much. "I'm getting a little light-headed."

The shuttle was oriented as they used to be back in the early days of space, with jets in the bottom and the pilot seat at the top. This meant that the passengers were, unfortunately, actually sitting perpendicular with their backs against what should be the floor.

"You think that's bad? Try being a girl. I am….uncomfortably…flattened," said Debs. Her face did look a little pinched and already she looked slightly green. "This restraint system was clearly designed by men with no appreciation of curves. Women have needs, you know," she muttered.

"You're just upset because you couldn't take the pho on board. No feminine hygiene talk," said Errol, "that's gross."

"Launch in two minutes," a big booming voice said over the loudspeaker.

Merle, completely at ease turned around to look at the duo. "Don't worry," he said, flashing them a big grin. "As soon as we launch and get out of atmo, the antigrav will kick in and then you can float around."

"Oh goody," said Errol. "Then I can find a gun turrent and pretend to shoot at starfighters. So exciting! Pew Pew!"

Debs would have flashed him a look to remind him to be professional, but she was too busy hyperventilating. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down, sinking into her seat. She tried to will her anxiety into her toes, as she did sometimes, but because she is disoriented, it all went to her head.

Errol shot a glance at her.

"Launch in one minute!"

"Hey Debs," said Errol, "Do you want some gum?"

"You know I don't chew gum," in a high pitched squeaky voice. "You know I don't chew gum. I've never chewed gum because I had braces and the orthodontist told me that they would get stuck, and it feels weird in my mouth and ——"

"Debs, chill out. Quote some Star Wars or something.”

“ ‘Captain?’ Debs said in a faintly British accent. ‘Yes Sir?’ ‘Tell them we wish to board.’ ‘With all due respect, the ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately’. ‘Yes of course, as you know are blockade is perfectly legal, and we would be happy to receive the ambassadors.’

Debs closed her eyes and let the boyish face of the young Obi-Wan Kenobi come into her mind. ‘I have a bad feeling about this’. ‘I don’t sense anything’. ‘It’s not about the mission, Master, it’s something elsewhere…elusive.’ Don’t centre on your anxieties, Obi-Wan, keep your focus on the here and now where it belongs.’ But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future.’ ‘Be mindful of your thoughts, young Padawan.’ ‘Yes, Master’… ”

“Blast Off!”

The engines roared. Debs’s eyes were still closed, no doubt still picturing the handsome Scottish Jedi. Errol felt the blood rush to his head.

… “I am aware that the Chancellor’s ambassadors are with you now, and that you have been commanded to reach a settlement.” Errol definitely could not place her accent, but then again the movie hadn’t done a consistent job with it either, so she couldn’t fault Debs for that.

“Debs?”

“Shhh…”

“ ‘Beware Viceroy, the Federation has gone too far this time.’ ‘We would never do anything without the approval of the Senate. You assume too much.’ ”

“DEBS!”

“Shh! ‘We will see’,” she said with finality, then making the whooshing noise of the com screen ending.

“What, Errol?” she said.

“Look!”

Debs looked out the window to see the earth getting smaller and smaller.

“Oh,” she said, mollified. “We took off! Cool!”

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