Chapter 4

Errol didn't look too well as he entered the airlock for the space station. Debs was chipper.

"That was awesome! Once we hit anti gravity, it felt like were floating."

"We were," came Errol's short response.

"Why didn't you like it? You looked sick! In fact, you still look sick," said Debs as she gave Errol a once over.

"I'll be fine. My stomach isn't that good with this," said Errol. He found a box and tried to sit down. This was more difficult than he realized in zero gravity.

"Don't touch that! Remember, space is rather tight on the station, so every crook and cranny is utilized. You shouldn't really touch anything you aren't too sure of."

"I'm not too sure of anything," groaned Errol. He stood up and tried to lean against the wall. He failed at this too.

They were met by a tall, imposing man dressed in simple coveralls. He was hunched over as he avoided the roof of the hallway.

"Welcome aboard the Mir!" he greeted in a German accent.

"Otto! Great to see you again. Debs, Errol, this is professor Otto Von Schnitzelpusskrankengescheitmeyer," introduced Merle.

"Hello, Otto Von schnizel… shnitzelplank…" stuttered Debs.

"Allo, Herr professor," said Errol.

"Otto is the only one here that maintains this massive station. It was only recently commissioned to act as the way point for star cruises. It's helped finance the station and kept it from being deconstructed," explained Merle.

"Not only that, I can drink real water and not recycle my urine!" commented Otto.

"How… pleasant for you," said Debs.

"How long do we have to wait here?" asked Errol, quick to change the thought.

"Well, about a couple hours actually. Unfortunately, as you can tell, it's not exactly the most comfortable of dwellings," said Merle as he looked sheepish.

Errol raised and eyebrow, and quickly lowered it for fear of upsetting his stomach further. Merle was right. The space station was very cramped, and was made of long intersecting tunnels. They had to stand in a straight line and every where he looked, there was equipment, or storage, or something that looked mechanical and important. He feared touching anything, because the last thing he wanted to do was suddenly rip a whole in the metal and have them all sucked out into oblivion.

"How are you, Debs?" asked Errol.

"I'm great! This is totally awesome!" she chirped as she followed Merle down the hallway. Errol didn't see why she was so happy. He thought that once he was out of the ship, he would feel safer. But he didn't. In fact, once he saw the space station, he was painfully struck with the realization that it look like a bunch of boxes barely interlocked together with toothpicks. It didn't look safe, it didn't look structurally sound, he had created sturdier ships out of lego. His stomach began to heave just after this.

And once inside, he didn't feel any better. There weren't any large steel metal beams with rivets the size of his fist protecting him from the very painful death of eye explosion if exposed to the vacuum of space. Even the floor looked like it could cave in at any second. As he watched Debs bob up and down as she tried to skip, he hoped that her mass wouldn't dislodged some precariously pieced together equipment which kept this bucket of tin from exploding.

"Zero gravity is awesome!" said Debs. "I want to find the most heaviest thing possible and throw it!"

"You can't," said Errol.

"What? Why not! It doesn't way anything! I should be able to lift it with my mind! My MIND! Like the force!"

"It's because it still has mass. So even though it may not weigh anything it still has a mass much larger than you. Remember that action reaction law thing that Newton had? So when you press on an object of larger mass, it presses back. You would end up moving."

"That doesn't make sense," said Debs.

"I think I read that in a humour article on the internet, anyway. But I don't want you throwing anything in this ship. You might break something with your skipping and bounding about the corridor!"

"But we're weightless! Look how much fun this is!" she stated as she jumped up. And then jumped down. And then jumped to the side.

"Don't… do… that. You might break something. I feel awful," said Errol as he attempted leaning against the wall.

"You have Space Sickness. Usually lasts for only 72 hours. Nausea, light headness, malaise, don't worry, Errol. Once the Orion Express is finished with it's preparations we will be able to board."

"Is there somewhere that I can lie down, or just relax for a bit?" asked Errol.

"Just come through here. You can stretch out a bit in our rec room. That was just added thanks to the success of the space lines," said Otto as he lead them through another corridor.

"They are fixing this place up a lot. Currently under construction is a larger waiting area. It's almost done. We hope by the time the real passengers arrive, it will be outfitted and not be so cramped as you see here," said Otto.

"Shuttles take passengers straight to the ship, normally. However, with the difficulties of launch scheduling, we had to leave now and wait here," explained Otto.

"That's fine! I always wanted to visit Mir!" said Debs.

"You did?" asked Errol.

"Of course!"

"You've never said anything of the sort!" said Errol.

"I don't tell you everything," said Debs.

"You don't even tell me the set list!"

"If you are hungry, we do have some food for you! Oh! This is great trick that everyone loves," said Otto as he disappeared through a door. He was back in a moment with a bag of clear liquid.

"I don't want to know what that is," said Debs.

"Watch!" said Otto as he opened the bag. The water stayed together in a globule as it floated in the air. Then Otto stuck his lips to it and drank it.

"Oh hey! That looks like trying to such large amounts of jello through my teeth! That's awesome! Can I try?" asked Errol. The thought of drinking water globules in the air really excited him.

"Me too! Me too!"

Otto spent the rest of the time entertaining them with zero gravity tricks. Errol forgot that he was sick.


Debs and Errol were looking out a window as they watched the Orion Express slowly drift towards them.

"It's upside down. Or lopsided. Or something," noted Debs.

"There is no up in space, remember," said Merle, "The ship was built to look a little like a cruise ship to give the passengers a feeling of familiarity, but all in all, it doesn't matter what it's built like. Not really anyway."

"At least it looks a lot sturdier than this," said Errol as he eyed the window. He was positive it couldn't be much thicker than the width of his hand. How could it keep out things like radiation, and wandering space asteroids intent on destroying space stations?

The sound of metal grinding and mechanical gears reverberated through the station. Errol winced. He was not made to be an astronaut. He closed his eyes and tried to drown out the noise of what he was sure was torsion twisting the station into a useless hunk of space metal. He tried not to envision exploding space ships from any one of the sci fi films he liked to watch.

"Errol! Wake up! Watch it dock!"

"Don't bother me! I'm trying to think of other things! Things that are earth based, like smurfs," said Errol, keeping his eyes closed.

"Come on Errol! This is cool! I was the one that was scared! And now it's completely amazing!"

"You were also the one that sent me all those sites and warnings about space travel. Well, I will have you know that I can't stop thinking about them now!"

"Oh good, I'm glad one of us read those articles. I was too scared," said Debs with a grin.

"Great, thanks for that," said Errol.

Debs started squeeling with glee and she pressed herself up against the window as the Orion Express moved into its final position. The noise came to a halt, with the occasional sound of metal being strained beyond it's limits.

"Can we go on now? Are we ready?" asked Debs.

"Yes, walk this way," said Merle. Otto had brought their luggage with him, and they followed Merle to another part of the station.

They came to another airlock, and the familiar woosh of air sounded as they entered. Errol was surprised, he didn't expect for films to get that part right.

"Thanks so much, Otto! It's been great!" said Debs.

"Thank you very much, Otto! It's been fun! Thanks for sharing your food with us!" said Errol.

"No problem! I'll leave your stuff here. Remember, once you enter that ship, you'll get gravity back. It will feel weird, so just drag your stuff close to the ground," smiled Otto as he waved.

He stepped back and let the door close. Errol had flashes of the door opening into empty space and having themselves being flung into the void. Then he imagined his eyes exploding again. He wished Debs didn't send him that stuff.

However, his fears were for naught and the door opened into another long corridor that looked considerably safer than the room they were in!

"Look! The walls look thick!" said Errol with an unsurpressed excitement.

"How can you tell? You can't see the outside," said Debs.

"It just looks like you can't punch through it! Oh glory be!" said Errol as he ran into the corridor. They continued on, and soon, they began to feel heavy again.

"Oh crap. This is worse than getting out of a pool!" said Errol. He suddenly felt like he just wanted to sit down he was so heavy.

Merle laughed, "We're only at three quarters of your weight now. Don't worry, you'll feel young again in no time. Come! I will show you your rooms."

"We do get separate rooms, right?" asked Errol.

"Oh! Uh, space is tight on these ships," said Merle.

"What? You said we got different rooms, Debs!" said Errol.

"I did no such thing. Besides, I have to listen to your snoring. You think a living room and a door keeps that infernal sound from reaching my ears? No. Not even my ear plugs," said Debs.

"Great. We're keeping the place neat. I don't want you throwing your unmentionables all over the place," said Errol.

"You guys aren't together?" asked Merle.

"Of course we're not together, she has much better taste in men. Besides, it's hard dealing with her emotions. I'd rather her men do that," said Errol.

"My emotions are normal! I can't help it if you're an insensitive jerk!" said Debs.

"See? I couldn't imagine being with someone like that all the time," grinned Errol.

"Well, I'm sorry. We could bunk you with the other performers," said Merle.

Errol and Debs looked at each other.

"Well, I'd rather the devil I know," said Debs.

"Ditto," said Errol.

Merle laughed, "You two are an interesting pair. Well, follow me. We'll get you to your rooms and then a tour of the ship is scheduled."

"Awesome!" said both Errol and Debs in unison.

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