Errol had quickly lost track of how long they had been in hyperspace. All he knew was that he was sick of the dehydrated fried beans that she and Debs seemed to be having for every meal. Especially since the single toilet wasn't entirely comfortable.
"Why can't the air filtration system have some sort of freshener built in? It should smell of roses, or something." Debs didn't like the refried beans either.
"Well, at least it isn't soylent cream," replied Errol.
The two of them were sitting in low chairs, which was basically the only thing in the escape pod besides the toilet and webbing and the closet thing with all the storage room with all the provisions. They hadn't been there when they entered the pod the first time, but had come out from the walls somewhere. The crash webbing was, thankfully, abandoned, as the flight had been relatively smooth since take off.
Debs moved closer to the nearest window and attempted to peer through it for what seemed like the millionth time. Hyperspace looked nothing like it did in the movies, with the weird music and streaky lights and slow motion. Actually, it was too bright for the human eye, and the windows of the escape pod were tinted so they could see very little.
Errol fidgeted. "I'm so bored! How come there aren't any games on this thing? People could go insane on here. How could there be no board games or anything? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How long have we been here?"
"Three days," said Debs. "Have you figured out where we're going yet?"
"Me?" Errol cried indignently, "why do I have to figure it out?"
"Argh! Because you keep talking about all of the space games you usually play. Shouldn't you be able to like…I don't know…talk to the navicomputer or something? Or reverse some sort of power coupling?"
"Of course not," said Errol. "I only like the games that shoot things. Pew pew! Pew pew pew!"
"What about the mission games where you actually have to think?"
Errol ignored her because he was still making "pew pew" noises and probably thinking about AT-ATs.
Debs slumped down in her seat.
"Let's try spinning, that's a good trick," she grumbled. "What if we're in here for years? What if everyone on earth has aged 1000 years by the time we get back?
"We'll starve way before that happens."
"Or I'll die of dehydrated bean smell," said Debs.
"That's the spirit," said Errol. The two lapsed into silence.
As if on cue, the soothing voice made an auditory appearance. "Please enter the webbing. We will disengage hyperspace in 10 seconds. " Debs lept up. The chairs started to move back into the wall, spilling Errol onto the floor.
"Come on, Errol!"
He got into the webbing just in time. With a lurch and a jolt the ship entered normal space.
“Hyperspace disengaged,” said the voice.
“Ten seconds,” Errol rolled his eyes. “How could it just be ten seconds? Who can get anywhere in that time? Stupid voice.”
“Never mind that,” said Debs. “We have to figure out where we are.” The windows were slowly becoming clear again and there were many stars.
Errol clambered through the webbing to the control panel of the pod and looked at the screen. It was glowing red and looked sort of like a radar. Debs climbed over beside him.
“None of this looks familiar,” Debs said, looking for meaning in the clouds of stars.
“You can’t even identify the big dipper in our solar system,” Errol retorted. “Of course it’s not going to look familiar.”
“That is so a lie,” said Debs. “I know where Sirius is. Mmmm…Sirius. And Leo also.”
“You’re so egocentric.”
“No I’m not. Anyway, look. There seems to be some sort of writing scrolling at the bottom of the screen there.” She pointed. “It’s in English, but I don’t understand it. ‘Zerg Rush Kekeke is what it says.”
“Zerg…? That’s l33t speak!” Errol cried.
“l33t speak? Like…the internet jargon?” said Debs. “I knew it was classified as it’s own dialect, but this seems a little ridiculous.”
“No, it’s really not,” said Errol. “l33t speak is fluent and constantly evolving - it’s great for codes.”
“Well, we don’t need codes, we’re in an escape pod,” Debs reminded him. “And we need to find out what’s going on. Do you speak it?”
“Of course I do,” said Errol. He typed something or other into the keypad, and instantly the screen switched to plain English and labels came up beside some of the stars.